I am extremely heartened by Minnesota’s decision to protect its state grain, wild rice. Resources will be ploughed into investigating the status of the plant itself in the Land of Lakes and, more importantly, into monitoring any and all attempts to interfere directly with its DNA. The legislation has taken this important step because wild rice, aside from being economically important locally, is sacred to the Ojibwe people.
This is just the precedent we Pastafarians need to protect wheat around the world. As an ineffable and ineluctable component of the body of our most sacred Flying Spaghetti Monster, wheat is core to our belief system. And despite our love of all things buccaneering, the sacred genomes of wheat and its wild relatives must be kept out of the hands of rapacious bio-pirates and those who would play God with our God.
So, on behalf of all Pastafarians everywhere (unlike our brethren and sistern among the Ojibwe, we cover the globe) I call on the United Nations to follow for wheat the path that Minnesota has so thoughtfully cleared for wild rice.
p.s. 2020-04-29: Strangely, I seem to have forgotten to link to anything back in 2007. Digging around turned up Minnesota aims to protect wild rice from genetic modifications, which looks right. Digging further turned up White Earth recognizes the rights of wild rice: Officials hope ordinance bolster challenge to Line 3, which goes a good deal further. The ordinance recognises wild rice's
inherent rights to exist, flourish, regenerate, and evolve, as well as rights to pure water and a healthy environment that's unaffected by climate change and human emissions.
The hope is that this can be used to thwart any plans to infringe upon those rights.