This just in from Luigi in Fiji (or wherever he was when he sent it).

"Yeah yeah ok ok, here they are …

  • Best Picture: Lord of the Rings. Because it just must.

  • Best Director: Peter Jackson. Because he must. Even if you don't like the movie, you just have to admire the sheer technical bravado. So many ways he could have screwed it up, so many ways he didn't …

  • Best Actor: Sean Penn. Because it's time, and because the Academy doesn't like Bill Murray, and because of 21 Grams. Tough call though. If Lost is such a pleasure, it is because of Murray more than it's because of what Sofia wrote or how she shot it. But Sean didn't turn up at the Globes …

  • Best Supporting Actor: Tim Robbins. Forget the politics: Baldwin hasn't won any of the other major awards this year. By all accounts a powerhouse performance, but …

  • Best Actress: Charlize Theron. Because the Academy are suckers for attractive women working against type, the MCPs. But it's the most interesting race.

  • Best Supporting Actress: Shohreh Aghdashloo. Lots of buzz, that's all… And Cold is going cold, although Renée is owed an Oscar.

  • Best original screenplay. Lost in Translation. Buzz buzz buzzzzzzzzzz. But by all accounts In America is the better piece of work.

  • Best adapted screenplay. Mystic River. Although ROTK is a monumental achievement."

To which I have to add that going for the screenplay awards is a touch of oneupmanship I admire intensely.

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