It’s night in the big city. Down by the point a foghorn blows. A phone rings, clearing the fog.

“It’s Bob.”
“Good to hear you. What's up?”
“I need a hand.”
“Sure. Ask.”
“You were at the Geneva gig, right?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“You know how we always monitor the audience, see what’s happening out th...

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A Yorkshire on which it never rains. A Women’s Institute peopled by the likes of Julie Waters, Helen Mirren and Celia Imrie. Men who are gruff and taciturn but not grumpy. A story about pluck in the face of adversity and the value of true friendship. What’s not to like about Calendar Girls?

My r...

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Start: 95.4 Last week: 89.7 This week: 88.8
Tuesday 24 April: skipped a week, numerically, because although I did weigh myself I didn’t want to crash in on the Moroccan narrative. Still hovering around the same old figures, which is not surprising as I have been eating enough. No sense of depriva...

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It was with a little whoop of recognition that I read about rapeX, "the world's 1st and only anti-rape condom". The company's FAQ is down as I write, "due to public demand" but from what I can gather it is a toothed "female condom" that clamps down on any intromitted organ, forcing the owner of t...

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Inexplicably, Johnny Cash, Bob Dylan and John Prine turned up in my Shared Downloads folder doing You Are My Sunshine.

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Neato-burrito. And if that doesn’t improve your day, nothing will. But although I searched in all the usual places I couldn’t find...

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